Define awake when you’re high on meth.
Heart is beating, irregular, but beating. Lungs are absorbing oxygen, sorta. I mean what’s left of the tissue that’s healthy enough to function at a working capacity. Brain is partially processing information still, but everything, and I mean everything seems like it’s URGENT and there is a nagging feeling that there is someone or something lurking close by. Then there are those wires protruding from the kitchen wall – they came from somewhere or something, but what? Maybe someone planted something behind the wall there? SHIT.
Is this what is defined as being awake? Is this the feeling longed for by so many that try meth? “When I’m high on meth, I feel alive”. Said so many times, by so many addicts. That feeling of being “alive” that you can’t re-live, no matter how many days you spend awake chasing it. The truth is, the first hit gets you as high as you will ever be. The rest of your days are spent chasing that one brief moment; that euphoria that you wil never again experience at the same capacity. Beyond euphoria, on the other side of that high is something dark and ravenous, something that devours an addict from the inside out.
If the person that asked you “wanna hit”? actually told you the truth about what life would be like after you took that hit; you would run in the opposite direction as fast as possible. The truth is, you aren’t “alive” when you’re on meth, you’re existing. You’re wasting away, waiting for the next chance to get high. A high that will be less and less of an experience; more and more of a lifestyle. The world you live in when you’re sober may as well exist in another galaxy when you’re strung out on meth.
Ask Philip Vigil, a Colorado man who was recently sentenced to 6 years in prison for stealing a few cars and leading cops on a high speed chase throughout Snowmass and Aspen Colorado. He had been awake for 29 days, completely spun on meth, when he was jacked by a friend and ditched in Denver. Being strung out and undoubtedly psychotic / paranoid from lack of sleep and his meth use, he decided to get out of Dodge (or Denver as the case may be) by stealing a truck, then a motorcycle and then yet another truck before he was caught by police. He had almost killed a man on a golf course before police shot out the tires on the stolen truck. By the time he was to be sentenced for the crime a year later, he had lost his teeth from years of meth abuse, lost all contact with his kids and had lost the ability to comprehend reading. Jail was the best thing that ever happened to this 28 year old man; hopefully when he is released he will have a second chance at life – a sober chance.
I know people aren’t exactly doing their homework before they decide to try meth. My hope is that awareness of this horrendous drug would be increased to the point that you can’t NOT know what the outcome will be if you choose meth.
The truth is, you can only choose one – life or meth.