Meth Poem: Wife of An Addict

A Poem about Meth Addiction from a Wife’s Vantage Point

Poem Submitted by: Ericka T

I love you so much, with all of my heart.

From this drug, I wish you’d part.

I see you dying in front of my eyes.

You never these days have time for goodbyes.

Slowly but surely I watch you get weaker.

Behind your back, they call you a tweeker.

With every “hit” you stay further away.

God will you please just come home today.

Weekends go by, then more days go past.

I can’t really remember when I saw you last.

You’ll lie and you’ll cheat and you’ll hide away

Just to spend time with the drug one more day.

Why won’t you deny that life taking pipe?

I never thought that you’d be the type?

You say that it helps you get a lot done.

Seems to me that you’re on the run.

You said “that person” you never would be.

Now you won’t even take phone calls from me.

I feel it’s my fault. Something I did bad.

How do I always make you so mad?

It’s not you, you sometimes confess.

That doesn’t make it hurt any less.

I want to keep you here. Not let you go.

But I cannot save you from all this you know.

I don’t know what to do. My Love, My Heart.

This devil’s about to tear us apart.

It’s got you now, gonna introduce you to death.

It’s killing our family. You know it’s the Meth!

  • Crystal Meth Abuse

    This is the most fantastic poem I have ever heard.

  • Larondajones

    well this is really sad cause my mom been doin meth every since i was 11 months and all of her kids got splited up and i really relate to this story

  • kendra wojtczak

    i know how much meth hurts theres nothing u can do to stop them they will turn on u my exhusband is so bad on it he looks sick iam only 21 i have 2 children by my ex he has not seen or talk to them since god knows when he broke our family in two and the devil is honestly taking over iam a mother agianst meth please stand up and say something together we make a difference in the world

  • LostYoungAddict

    I am a 19yr old meth addict. When I read this poem it made me think of my parents and my brothe. But EXPCIALLY my mom. I have not seen her in a long time because she closed communicaion with me. I know she still loves me but she just does not know what to do anymore. I have never stolen or physically hurt my parents, but they couldnt stand watching me fail and dye to this addiction. When i read this poem it makes me think about how much i have hurt her and how much i realy miss her. It makes me feel back because I know this is how my mom feels, how my dad and brother kind of feel too. It i sad, i would never want anybody to try this drug. Very well written poem!!

  • Shanynkbbs

    God i hate this life i dont know what to do but i know i cant let you go i love you so much just please come home today jarrod you are one of my reasons for waking up every day me n the kids mis you so much id do anything to help you change

  • Mshellsatterfield

    This poem is the most accurate description of how a wife of a meth addict actually feels!

  • christy

    The hust is so real in this poem….Wake up if Meth has taken hold of your life…..Help is waiting….Just Ask

  • Holly

    Wow this is amazing… It is me…. and all the words I have ever wanted to say to him and have

  • x

    absolutely beautiful. Im 19 and struggling with my partners addiction. I have always felt like I was all alone and no one would ever understand but that’s clearly not the case. This poem is exactly spot on. He has been sober for 28 days now and starting rehab soon. But I live in fear, after one year of heavy use she disintegrated his mind to the point where I hardly recognise the guy she has left behind, will he come back? I live in fear of the relapse, It might not be until years later, might not be until its too late and I’ve trusted him to have our kids. I love the man he once was, and I love him for the strength he is showing to battle through and be so brave. but when will I stop being so afraid. when will this all be over? When can I live a real life with the man I love and who loves me?

  • Smdh

    Thank you. It’s a tough life to live. I ask myself often, when is enough enough?

    Ericka T

  • Smdh

    I live in fear of the same thing every day. I have been through relapse after relapse with him. It never gets easier. I just keep hoping “this will be the time he will be able to kick it” and it will be done.
    Ericka T

  • Smdh

    Thank you everyone who commented. I wrote this because I struggle to talk to ‘him’ about how I feel, so I though I would share it with others who might relate. I’m saddened that this drug has ruined so many lives and relationships. I, and all of you who have read this, truly know what it is like to feel helpless. That little voice in our heads that keeps repeating.. “If I were only enough…” Try to remember, as I try every day, it’s not you. It’s nothing you did or said, or didn’t do.

    Ericka T.

  • Jessica

    ‘If I were only enough…’

    I’ve spent the last six years trying to love the addict out of my boyfriend who binges. I’ve torn myself to shreds, spent so many tear-filled nights praying to a god I don’t even believe in trying to figure out why he can’t love me (& now our two children) more than he loves dope. He swears the last time will be his last, (& I believe it more than I’ve believed it ever before). On one hand, it’s nice knowing someone else relates & understands the way I feel. On the other, it breaks my heart knowing you all feel the same pain & confusion & desperation as I.

    Thank you for writing this.

  • Ericka T

    I always want to believe it’s his last time too, and sometimes he goes for a long time between uses. So far the last promises haven’t stuck. I, like you, feel that it’s nice to have people understand what I’m feeling but wish they didn’t have to. Hoping and praying that it’s his Lat time for you and your children.

  • Ericka T

    The main thing I would suggest is remembering this is not your fault and you cannot fix him. I believe when they say they won’t do it anymore, they actually mean it in that very moment. You are not alone. It is a tough life to be in a relationship with an addict. Some days I don’t know how I have done it for 14 years. It never seems to get easier. Nar-Anon is designed to help families of addicts. Perhaps you could look into it and see if it’s in your area.
    I’m glad my words have touched others. It’s a hard road to feel alone on for sure. Good luck.

  • KarmaExperience

    I lost my wife with meth. She been a heavy drug user (I didn’t know) for 20 years. from crack to cocaine or anything…Then 2 months ago she did meth and i forgive her. Help her. then come back again while everything look, feel so good into our lives, but no she had to go and smoke it during 1 weeks non-stop to them find her in parking lot sleeping like homeless person. I picked her and help her again while noticing her brain was GONE. So this week end was the worst. After battling to bring her back home, this morning (Monday) jumped into me strangle me, destroying the place, using her knife against me, just because I refused to give her money.
    I had to locked myself in closet and called the Police. they had already some “histories” with her and her behaving (violence) so now she s arrested.

    I really tried and forgiver her for all violence and I still have some mark in my body but the one inside are more painful. . I loved this woman but she choices meth over what we used to shared the most.
    Love, trust and respect.

    Someone said Pain make you think.

    Thank you for reading my story

  • ALostRose

    I am sitting at home crying alone again. My beautiful son is asleep, his last question to me tonight was why my husband isn’t home. I told him that he has to work out of town. My daughter just left to go to a friend house. “So, he didn’t show huh?!” She said. “No.” You see, I had sent him a text earlier. Asking if he wanted to meet to talk. He responded right away that he did. I found out 5 months ago that my beaitiful, wonderful husband had/has been doing and selling meth for over a year.

    He’s been out of work almost that entire time. He confided in me, saying he needed help and had been 3 days clean. See, after a huge fight where he threatened me I got a restraining order. He claimed he’d hurt me and had me being watched. So, I got the order. A few months later I heard from a pastor that my husband was meeting with. He wanted to talk. My husband had hit “rock bottom” without me and the kids. I eventually met. My husband revealed the truth and asked forgiveness and said need “do anything, just couldn’t lose us.”

    But here I sit, 3 months later. The patterns of not coming home, being gone for hours,hiding his phone and showing up and hanging around with “scary people” has begun again. He’s been receiving threats. Losing his patience at a drop of a dime, screaming, yelling, throwing things and packing up…only to leave the house and text me that he loves me so much. That he’s never meant to hurt us. That he had a gift he wanted to give me.

    My heart breaks. His employer has been trying to give him work, but why work hard when “doing a run” gets you$ quick.
    We have lived solely off of my income for a year and a half. He doesn’t pay bills or help support.

    I’m lost. I’m sad, mad, hurt and broken.
    Like so many people I don’t know what isn’t great about the life we have. I adore him when he’s here and with us. We all do. I know I won’t get an answer…but why?!

  • ALostRose

    I agree, feeling alone is exactly right. I have great kids, a great family and great friends, but this feels personal. Everyone says divorce him, you and the kids don’t deserve this. And while they are right…We don’t… I still pray for him to figure it out and realize what he has in us. I’m hopeful. We know who they are/were…just not who they’re being now.

  • Charrr

    This poem just hit the spot! i can truly relate. One day into my marriage, that’s when i found out about the addiction he has, We’ve been dating for 4 year and married for only 9 months and it has not been easy, separated for 2 months now due to his addiction. it kills me everyday not only for myself but my beautiful 2 kids that has to suffer because of it. I tend to isolate myself and my mind runs away with me. constant fights we had. He was always moody and denial of every little thing. I have an restraining order against him because he got physical with me. I cannot stop thinking why I did not see the signs. today he is 35 days clean still in rehab. I do pray that he recovers and we could be a family. I love him with everything I have. In the end I have to think about my kids. Very well written Poem!

  • Alexis Didden

    To a T…only im made outbtge bad guy ..everything isvmy fault ..no matter what i do im wrong …i love hy husband butnlast night itbwentbtoo far..he has given me choice but to walk out that door , beautiful poem …i ptray anyone goin thru this can find the strength to get out ….that could be a wake
    up call …i hope