J-Dougie is a teenager who has turned his life into a positive story and found his creative outlet in creating rap music. His story touched me personally because it brought back all-too-vivid memories of my own abusive childhood. My father was very much like his in that he was very abusive on meth and suffered from seizures frequently and I can attest to the fact that there isn’t much more frightening than watching your parent have a grand-maul seizure in front of you. As a teenager I, too, was the one who always tried to step in and save my mom from his beatings.
When Jaden (J-Dougie) contacted me to share his video, I was impressed that he had turned something so negative into a way to share his life with others. In an email to him, I asked that he tell me a little bit about the background that inspired his video (below):
I lived with my biological father for a good portion of my kid years, and he was always a crazy tweeked out guy, and I don’t remember alot of the good memeories from back then. Alot of the bad memories are what have stuck with me the longest.
We moved about 12 or 15 different times in the few years that I have lived with him [my father], when we lived in Robinsdale he had a meth lab in his garage that me and my sister found one day and after that I asked him what was in there and he beat me with a frying pan. There were times when I would walk into his room and just see him having seizers on the floor and wouldnt know what to do. He was never a good father to me, so once they had their other 2 kids, my half brothers and I was always was the one trying to look after them. He would go on rages all the time were he would sit there and beat up on my step mom and than switch it all over to me and my lil brothers.
When I started to get older, probably around 8, I was always trying to stand up for myself and for the family, so when he did go on his rages I always got in his face and tryed to stop it. That is when I would get punched and kicked and thrown into glass windows.
There was one memory that still is stuck with me.. it was me and my uncle (he is same age as me) he lived down the hall in the same apartment [building]. We went down to his house and there was a Little Ceasers Pizza in the oven and we ate a few slices of it. When [my father] walked out and saw [we ate the pizza] he chased me down the hall to my grandmas apartment and pushed me on the floor, got on top of me and punched me in the face. My grandma came outside and was pushing him to get off me and he turned to my grandma and was about to attack her when I got up and jumped in front of my grandma and took another punch to the face.
Another time when I was about 9 or so, I had a really bad headache and I wanted some medicine for it, so my step-mom gave me some ibuprofen. It didn’t help much, so I asked my dad if he had any other medicine and he handed me this pipe with some kind of material in it. At the time I wasn’t sure what it was, but he told me it would make it better for right now.
At the point i turned it down and I didnt take the pipe form him. but growing up through a lifestyle with an abusive father and the sights I have seen when he was always on the drugs and seen him in the act of the drugs made me an even stronger and smarter man that I am today.
I have not talked to [my father] for about 4 years; he lives with a recovering addict and he tells my mom he is doing better and is clean now, but he is clean off the hard drugs only. Now, he has turned to huffing air duster. We got a call from the man he is living with and he has found over 20 cans under his bed, in the trash, and around his room. So, he is taking a route to where he can’t get tested for meth which is still a very unhealthy and not clean way.
My father just recently had a one night stand with his meth dealer and she too is unstable to be a mother. So without the baby being related to my real mom at all, she is going to adopt her so me and my sister won’t lose any more siblings like we did my 2 other little brothers to foster parents. The papers for the adoption should be finnalized by the holidays.