I was introduced to meth for the first time at age 20, and I was instantly hooked. I loved being on it, selling it, partying for days. It was all good, until you know, it wasn’t. You don’t always see life degrading around you until you’re pretty far gone.
I went through all the usual attempts to quit and cleanse myself, but when you know literally dozens and dozens of people just like you – people you see at parties, people on the street, people with whom you work, live – it’s always going to be a losing battle. I went down about as low as I’d care to go. Occasionally homeless, walking the streets at night with no destination. Staying up in motels for weeks on end, hiding from everything. We were all living in our own dark, secluded prisons towards my final days in that society.
The truth for me was that my will was straight up mighty, but it can only prevent me from going after the drug. I’d quit and quit, and relapse every time. Resisting it when it’s in front of you is an entirely different challenge, and one I believe very few people manage.
I’ve been entirely off that trash since 2004. In fact, I don’t care for any drugs, period. I’m confident that I could stand with pure ice in front of me and refuse to touch it, but it’s certainly a long road, and you can not step off the path.
For those of you that still struggle with it, you’ve got to believe in your strength and purpose, and know that you can push yourself away from this life and become the person you truly want to be.
Don’t stop trying.
Go to the friends and family that will support you and help you to clean yourself and become a better person.
There is always light ahead.