Written by guest author: Yoko
I began using meth when I was 15 years old. I have never smoked or touched any drug before this. I only started because I knew a member of my family used and I was curious why she did it. So one night, I slept over at a friends house and I called my friend which I knew smoked tweek. He came over I went into the car and we searched for the perfect spot to smoke out in. My heart was racing and my muscles jumped. I was scared. I was so close to saying nevermind, but I did it. I took a long drag. I did not know what the effects of meth were so I kept smoking. I smoked until we reached the bottom of the bag. My face was numb, my lips were dry, and I could not stop talking. I went back to the house and tried sleeping but I couldn’t. My heart was pounding and I was sweating. My muscles were tight and I saw the sun rise.
People say that after the first time you are hooked, but I was lucky..somewhat. I didn’t crave it the next day but I did go back to it because I wanted the rush again. My addiction got worse and worse. It got to the point were I smoked every morning before school and if I did not have my fix I wouldn’t go to school. I would lie to get money from my parents and I was living in my own bubble. I lost many friends and excluded myself from society. I was miserable. I am positive I was close to over dosing many times. I smoked so much that when I stood up my knees trembled, my heart ached, and I could not feel. My pupils were different sizes and I ran into things constantly. It was hard to breath. My life turned into shit. I lost everything I worked so hard for. I thought there was no point in living. I hated myself. I thought of killing myself. Everyday, I would wake wondering why am I still alive. I wanted the nightmare to end.
Finally after two long years of lies, deceit, and chronic use I found God…so I thought. There was something inside of me telling me to quit. I tried time and time again to quit, but unfortunately after three weeks I would relapse. I thought I would never get out of this. I thought I ruined everything that things would never be the same. However, with unstoppable motivation and dedication, I found new passions in life to keep me occupied or keep my mind off of the drug. I quit cold turkey. Now I am 18, I am now a year sober from meth and plan to keep it that way. I know that many people don’t think its possible to quit by themselves, so for those people I am telling them that it IS possible. If I could do it so can you. I am here for anyone who needs motivation. I know life can get hard sometimes, but do not hide behind an addiction. One needs to learn how to confront the issue or problem. The only way you can really quit is IF YOU ABSOLUTELY WANT TO. People can tell you how bad it is for you and not to do it, but if you do not want to quit no one can make you. The change and drive needs to come from inside, from you. I know anything is possible in this life you just have to believe and love yourself.
I just hope I can inspire one to quit or stay away from this selfish, possessive, evil drug. It will suck the life out of you and you will be left with no brain, soul, or heart. Please seek help if you are addicted. Know you are not alone.
Also read: Life after meth IS possible