The story behind Some Chick…
My life growing up with meth addicted parents made me the person I am today. My faith in God got me through it with the strength to live a life free of addiction. I struggle daily with the effects of abuse caused at the hands of this drug and the grip it held upon the lives of everyone around me – physical, sexual, verbal & emotional. This blog is part therapy and part education. I want to learn everything I can about this horrible drug that has recked the life of so many loved ones and in doing so, maybe I can help to educate others.
A little bit about me (more like the readers digest extra condensed version): I grew up in a city about an hour north of Los Angeles called Palmdale, California. It’s sad how many people I read about that claim their city to be the meth capital of the US. I truly thought that Palmdale was the meth capital. I guess when you are a child and everyone you know and associate with is using meth, it’s not hard to make the assumption once you are old enough to be aware of your surroundings that you live in the meth capital of the US.
When I was 12 years old we became homeless
My parent’s meth addiction caused them to snort or smoke the money they made instead of paying the bills. My younger brother and I were forced to try and maintain a sense of normalcy while outstaying our welcome with friends and family. School was no longer a priority; survival was. My parents slept in parks and abandoned houses, while we roamed the streets at all hours looking for a place to sleep. Finally, my grandmother took my brother and I in and tried to establish a normal routine for us, but by then it was too late. We had seen far too much and were unable to really grasp the concept of normalcy. By this time I was also a teenager, who in trying to find my identity turned to gangs for comfort.
Throughout my teenage years I dropped out of school and decided partying was more important. I clung to friends that were using and cooking meth, though I never touched it. I sat back watching them and trying to make sense of it all. I began to question why everyone loved meth so much. I sat and watched teenage friends tear at their skin thinking there were bugs underneath, abuse their bodies for meth and just stop caring about themselves. As a child I watched my dad overdose twice and even on the brink of death he wouldn’t quit. I realized early on, just how strong meth’s grasp was. I vowed never to do it.
I vowed never to do meth, but broke that promise on my 18th birthday
After years and years of friends asking me to do meth with them, I finally gave in. I hated meth with my entire being and I told myself “Ok, just this once I will find out what it is that everyone loves so much about meth”. I snorted a fat line and felt nothing other than a massive stinging sensation. Soon after, I learned first-hand what “the drip” is. An hour or so later, I went to a friend’s house and passed out on the couch. And that must have been by the grace of God, because I know far too well that having a restful night’s sleep after doing meth (especially the amount I did for my first time) is not normal. Most people do meth once and that’s all it takes to want it more and more. I, on the other hand woke up to wild mood swings that I couldn’t shake for the following 2 days. In fact, I distinctly remember going on a blind date to Sizzler with a poor guy who ended up promptly returning me home when I started crying over the salad bar – for no damn reason.
Once that experience was over, I thought to myself “Well good, that’s done – now I don’t have to be curious anymore – I’m done with meth”. Except I really have never been “done” with meth. Its effects on my family and friends still haunt me. I see people addicted to meth and my perspective has never been judgemental and instead I feel deeply saddened by the fact that they don’t know freedom outside of a life of addiction. It literally breaks my heart.
It is for the meth addicts and those that love them that I write.
I am not an expert. Although I have seen ALOT first hand and after growing up and getting out of the lifestyle, I chose to educate myself. Please don’t take anything I write as my condoning meth use. Know that my position is FIRMLY opposed to meth and the destruction it causes. This blog is part of my journey in life to educate myself and in the process I hope that I might educate others. There is strength in numbers and that is never more true than when you are recovering. Please know that no matter what your relationship to meth is, you aren’t alone. I am here to help, support, encourage, shock you and maybe even give you a laugh. Meth is a serious subject, but even in the depths of my own pain I have found laughter to be one of the very best medicines. I can laugh at myself and the lifestyle I once lived because I feel confident that I will never return. There is however, nothing funny about the countless lives ruined and lost to this horrid drug.
One thing I have learned and know to be true: God is real.
And I don’t mean that as in, a “higher power” type dude that is somewhere floating around on a cloud. I mean, as in God, the Father of Jesus Christ. As in, The God that created us and loves us more that we can comprehend. He doesn’t orchestrate what happens on Earth, as we each have free will and with that comes the good and the bad. I truly believe that it breaks His heart to see us suffer at the hands of addiction (or at all, really). I have come through more horrible things in my life than I could even list here and likely much more that I am not even aware of – and through it all, when I gave up running from Him and allowed myself to be loved by Him it became a real, tangible, thing. We each have our own journeys and I hope that you will allow His love to show you the way.
I DO NOT and WILL NOT Judge you; No matter your beliefs, religion, understanding, or viewpoint.
Whether you are struggling in addiction today, left it behind years ago or maybe you’ve been blessed with not having to experience the destruction meth causes; I welcome you. Please feel free to add your two cents on anything I write – this is an open forum really. I scour the net to write about meth and everything involving it and I welcome you to speak your mind whether you agree or disagree with what I have to say. You are totally entitled to your opinion here and you can potentially show myself and other readers a different vantage point.
My biggest goal in writing for this blog each and every day is that in reading this you will somehow walk away with something that you didn’t have before, whether it be knowledge, strength, hope, courage, faith, a good laugh or all of the above.