Dear Crystal, my favorite white girl…

Jill Sell is an amazingly strong woman. I sat on her son’s memorial page for over an hour with the song playing repeatedly in the background and with tears in my eyes I write this entry.

On August 24, 2006, Jill Sell’s 22 year old son Austin Hesse took his own life. He was lost in the hopelessness and despair caused at the hands of methamphetamine. His heartfelt, yet simple letters to family posted on Austin’s memorial site talk about his sincere efforts to make a change, to be a better person; to break free from his addiction to crystal meth.

His life came to an end soon after he robbed a man at gunpoint and stole his car in an attempt to get more drugs. With police surrounding him, he raised the gun to his head and took his last breath.

This letter was written by Austin before he took his own life:

Dear Crystal, my favorite white girl –

I miss you so much. I wish we still could be together. I wish things were like they were when we first met, when you were so sweet, and you never let me down.

We used to stay up all night, content with just being together. But things changed, and you started to expect a lot more out of me, more than I could keep up with.

You wore me out, that is no doubt. You kept me high, and now it’s time to say goodbye before I die.

So many lives lost to this addiction; so many people bound by the chains of hopelessness and despair caused by this drug.

Please, please, please take the time to visit Austin’s memorial page.

Rest in the loving arms of the Lord Austin.

2 thoughts on “Dear Crystal, my favorite white girl…”

  1. I read her page. It’s really touching and I hope others that are thinking of trying tweak will think about what they are doing to themselves and others too.

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