Need Advice: Daughter wants to come home, where the meth is

When my children were very young I was addicted to meth for two years. I think it had alot to do with the struggles that I had endured. But fortunately I was one of the lucky ones, Many can’t or won’t pull away and see the life after meth. It’s very sad. Their families suffer, but that is not the end of my story…

My three daughters – All three years apart in age were affected by those two years. My oldest daughter is extremely independent. Use to throw the fact that I made her cook dinners those nights that I slept for days coming down from a run. Actually turned out pretty good for what we had. My middle daughter had social problems had ADHD and had trouble keeping jobs for any length of time. She’s worked everywhere in our County. Finally at 22 she is getting better. She had her bouts with meth but now is totally against it.

My youngest daughter struggled hard with meth

When she was 14 she basically lived with her friends. My middle daughter and my youngest were constantly fighting (physically). The police were constantly being called alot. So I felt where she was, was a better place. Her friend was a single mother with 2 girls, had a job and a nice house. But unbenounced to me she was a meth addict.

They seem to be doing good. Then another old friend of hers came back into the picture. Through time my daughter moved into her home with her. Then come to find out the father made and sold meth… So it was free. My daughter struggled with it. She really wanted to graduate from high school. So she tried to break away from all of it. Ran into an old friend that wanted to be like a mentor to her. She was older and lived on her own with her boyfriend who had a good job and lived in a different town miles away from where we lived. I thought it was a good idea.

They had her enrolled in a good school. Everything seem to be going good.

Then I got a phone call. “Mom you need to come get me.”

I was shocked but curious and was only told that something happened. She was not sure exactly. But that I needed to come get her – now. Even Being two and a half hours away and with a piece of crap car, I ran and got her and brought her home. Of course with the middle daughter still at home unable to take care of herself, she went back with her friends (my mistake). I picked her up everyday and took her to school. Made sure she went to her Beauty school. Everything seemed to be going ok. Then things really got bad…

I would go by to pick her up and couldn’t get her out of bed. We kept making excuses for not making it to school. Then came the backache. She kept complaining that her back hurt It got so bad that I took her to the hospital. It was a busy night at the hospital we sat in the room for at least 2 hours. They were planning on doing a x-ray, so we were waiting and talking.

I looked at her and I was curious her stomach looked to be bloated.

“How long has it been since you had your period? I noticed that I hadn’t bought you tampons for a few months.” She said that its been a few months, but she said that was normal for her to go without one for a few months ( I always talked about contraceptives). So immediately I notified the nurse. They did a pregnancy test and sure enough she was about four months pregnant. We were both shocked and did not know what to do.

She informs me that she had been with a couple of different guys. We decided to continue the pregnancy. She continued going to school. And the last few months it became overwhelming. Come to find out she was hanging with the drug dealers. And they were keeping her high. So she could not function at school.Finally she went into labor.

All of her friends were there in the waiting room at least 20 of them. Waiting…Then my grand baby was born. Things were ok for awhile after the baby was born. Then the places she was living became uninhabitable and she didn’t seem to care about the fact that her daughter was in filth.

All during this time child support was interested in knowing the father. I took the baby eventually and she graduated …How? I’m not sure; she was really addicted to meth. And all of her friends at the hospital they too were all doing it too. And my daughter also told me of other kids doing it that you would not even expect, did.

Well, we had a couple of the guys test for paternity. Both quite a few years older ( my daughter just turning 17, when my granddaughter was born) But both were not the father. Then I put two and two together and said test the boyfriend of the girl she went to stay with in the other county. Sure enough. Even though he denied it to his girlfriend until the results came back, he was the father. Turmoil.

She continued on a very destructive path

I took the baby full time after a while. Then she met a guy. She must have really liked him. She had been in a lesbian relationship for 1 year with a long time friend. Come to find out her father was the dealer. She left her for the guy.

I thought things were starting to look up. They both wanted to get clean. Then one night she wanted more and left him to go see another dealer. She really liked her boyfriend but the drug was more important. Her boyfriend knew what she was doing, went to the bar and drank too much. The bartender said rude remarks to his mother. So he hit the bartender in the head with the bottle. Went to jail…. He was let out with a court date.

At that point sick of being strung out on dope facing alot of jail time they bought a car for  $700.00 and took off. Somehow they made it 933 miles away, to a friend that told him if he ever need to get away that he would give him a job. So he did working 6 days a week and she got a job too. The first job that she ever had. And loved it.

After being off the meth for a few months, she knows what she has done to her daughter.

(Her daughter being with me for months because she was not capable) My granddaughter was wondering what happened to mommy. We would try to get her to talk on the phone. But my granddaughter didn’t want to talk to her. She was mad that she left her. So when my daughter was ready to be mommy again, I felt that everything was going well enough there with them both working a very nice small town 933 miles away not knowing hardly any one there .

I took a 2 day trip there to see for myself. I was very impressed. They had there own 2 bedroom house a very good day care close by. work and everything was in walking distance. Wonderful. One night while I was there we were sharing a bed my daughter my granddaughter and I. It was very quiet. And my granddaughter a little over 2 years old lifts her head looks at her mother and as clear as day says ” I’m Happy”. At that moment I knew I was doing the right thing by leaving her there.

It’s been almost 4 months…

They’re doing good still but know have decided that they need to come home. The boyfriend wants to turn himself in, and do the right thing. They plan to come home in May. My daughter assures me she has no intentions of getting back into meth, but I am so frightened.

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